


a stupid dr chatfic

by phantabear



Category: Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Non-Despair, Chatting & Messaging, F/F, F/M, Gay, Group Chat Fic, M/M, OOC, Sexual Jokes, So OOC, Stupidity, Texting, chat fic, hajime is screaming, i think this is basically crack, it's twogami in this fic, self indulgent
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-21
Updated: 2018-05-03
Packaged: 2018-11-03 10:35:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10965483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phantabear/pseuds/phantabear
Summary: Hope: it's 11pm go to sleepchichiaki: weakk-on: ibuki smelt gay where is itsoudaapop: lmao who goes to sleep at 11Hope: if I don't sleep I will actually screamk-on: hajime can make you do that





	1. in which sonia creates the chat

**Author's Note:**

> i'm bored
> 
> ahogayest - Hajime Hinata  
> Hope - Nagito Komaeda  
> chichiaki - Chiaki Nanami  
> lactNOse - Fuyuhiko Kuzuryuu  
> stabbymcstabberson - Peko Pekoyama  
> xXcursedhamstermanXx - Gundam Tanaka  
> princessOccult - Sonia Nevermind  
> soudaapop - Souda Kazuichi  
> classydancer - Hiyoko Saionji  
> k-on - Ibuki Mioda  
> bandages - Mikan Tsumiki

**princessOccult added xXcursedhamstermanXx, ahogayest, chichiaki and 7 others to "Unnamed Chat"**

**princessOccult has renamed the chat to "let's all BEE friends"**

**princessOccult** : hello everyone!! let's all use this groupchat to keep in touch more easily <33

 **ahogayest** : okay cute idea but why is the chat named lets all bee friends

 **k-on** : ten bucks it's a bee movie reference

 **xXcursedhamstermanXx** : the ruler of my cursed heart does not use bee movie memes

 **ahogayest** : yh true that's a deadass meme

 **chichiaki** : yes but sonia unironically posts minion memes

 **xXcursedhamstermanXx** : a rare flaw in the she-cat

 **Hope** : why am I involved in this

 **princessOccult** : yes! it is indeed a bee movie reference!

 **k-on** : gundam

 **xXcursedhamstermanXx** : another rare flaw

 **k-on** : ten bucks

 **k-on** : wait is this supposed to be in yen or something

 **xXcursedhamstermanXx** : curses

 **chichiaki** : why was this made again

 **princessOccult** : because we need to become closer as a class!!

 **Hope** : but you've left out several of our classmates

 **princessOccult** : Mahiru, Twogami, Nekomaru and Akane do not have this platform, unfortunately!!

 **chichiaki** : why do you end every message with exclamation points

 **Hope** : you left out Hanamura

 **princessOccult** : who?

 **lactNOse** : what is this

 **Hope** : Hanamura? Chef?

 **princessOccult** : who?

 **lactNOse** : fine then ignore me

 **princessOccult** : no no!!! this is a groupchat to bring us closer together!!

 **chichiaki** : you could've scrolled up

**stabbymcstabberson has left the chat**

**princessOccult has added stabbymcstabberson to the chat**

**princessOccult** : no one is allowed to leave!

 **stabbymcstabberson** : why

 **princessOccult** : because I said so!!

 **Hope** : what about Hanamura

 **ahogayest** : have you gotten the hint yet nagito

 **soudaapop** : first names gay

 **chichiaki** : that's pretty gay

 **k-on** : the smell of homosexuals

 **ahogayest** : we are dating

 **chichiaki** : gay

 **Hope** : fair

 **Hope** : and true

 **stabbymcstabberson** : why am I still here

 **lactNOse** : just accept your fate

 **bandages** : w-what is this?

 **chichiaki** : hey mikan

 **chichiaki** : just scroll up

 **bandages** : a-alright.

 **soudaapop** : how is she stuttering through text

 **k-on** : it's the way of life

 **k-on** : also how is the author supposed to characterise mikan without stuttering

 **Hope** : what?

 **k-on** : what?

**classydancer has left the chat**

**ahogayest** : where's sonia to immediately add her back

 **xXcursedhamstermanXx** : the she-cat is currently occupied

 **k-on** : how'd you know that

 **k-on** : ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **soudaapop** : ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **xXcursedhamstermanXx** : she told me, how else would I possibly know?

**soudaapop has added classydancer to the chat**

**soudaapop** : doin my duty

 **classydancer** : ha

 **classydancer** : duty

 **classydancer** : but seriously this is stupid

**classydancer has left the chat**

**princessOccult has added classydancer to the chat**

**princessOccult** : no leaving!!

 **soudaapop** : yeah

**classydancer has left the chat**

**princessOccult has added classydancer to the chat**

**stabbymcstabberson** : just accept it

 **classydancer** : ugh this'll just blow up my phone though

 **soudaapop** : just mute the chat

 **classydancer** : cba

**classydancer has left the chat**

**princessOccult has added classydancer to the chat**

**classydancer** : add me again and i'll cut a bitch

 **xXcursedhamstermanXx** : do not cause harm to any bitches

 **chichiaki** : that's mean to bitches hiyoko

 **ahogayest** : what a terrible person

 **classydancer** : you know what i meant assholes

 **lactNOse** : considering that you're in a groupchat called lets bee friends you're not being very threatening

 **stabbymcstabberson** : true

 **chichiaki** : finally,,,, justice

 **ahogayest** : nagito is complaining

 **Hope** : it's 11pm go to sleep

 **chichiaki** : weak

 **k-on** : ibuki smelt gay where is it

 **soudaapop** : lmao who goes to sleep at 11

 **Hope:** if I don't sleep I will actually scream

 **k-on** : hajime can make you do that

 **ahogayest** : ..

 **soudaapop** : i jUST CHOKED

 **k-on** : on what

 **k-on** : an eggplant

 **k-on** : an aubergine

 **k-on** : an entire salami

 **ahogayest** : a penis

 **k-on** : that was what ibuki was getting at

 **Hope** : Hajime will make me scream?

 **classydancer** : ha virgin

 **soudaapop** : we're in highschool, i hope we're all virgins lol

 **princessOccult** : I am not though.

 **k-on** : what wHAT

 **soudaapop** : WHAT

 **princessOccult** : is that abnormal?

 **Hope** : no I think that's illegal

 **ahogayest** : not in japan it isn't

 **Hope** : oh yeah

 **Hope** : what about the Hajime making me scream though?

 **classydancer** : this is sad to read

 **bandages** : Hinata s-shouldn't be making Komaeda screaming though

 **bandages** : don't harm a-anyone!

 **stabbymcstabberson** : someone tell them

 **classydancer** : ew i'm being purified

 **k-on** : who would top though

 **classydancer** : ew???

 **princessOccult** : a reasonanable question!

 **princessOccult** : Gundam has just told me that it is inappropriate to discuss this?

 **xXcursedhamstermanXx** : that is a dangerous terrority that we should not cross

 **xXcursedhamstermanXx** : even I, someone that is so mighty and powerful struggles to

 **classydancer** : did gundam just admit to being a virgin lol

 **chichiaki** : i'm back, what did i miss?

 **soudaapop** : sonia isn't a virgin???

 **chichiaki** : oh

 **bandages** : I'm s-sure that she did it responsibly!

 **stabbymcstabberson** : are you talking about.. sexual intercourse?

 **classydancer** : literally what else would we be talking about

 **classydancer** : OBVIOUSLY sex

 **k-on** : she said it

 **Hope** : screaming?

 **classydancer** : when you have sex with hinata, nagito

 **classydancer** : god what a bunch of prudes

 **princessOccult** : why are we still on the subject of this?

 **princessOccult** : I though this was supposed to bring us closer together!

 **soudaapop** : i mean;;;; technically it is

 **soudaapop** : i know more things now

 **lactNOse** : i'm witnessing chaos

 **ahogayest** : i think you broke nagito

 **chichiaki** : why what happened

 **ahogayest** : he is very red

 **ahogayest** : seriously what did you do

 **classydancer** : lmao scroll up

 **xXcursedhamstermanXx** : I advise against that

 **lactNOse** : we're under-aged!!!

 **lactNOse** : don't talk about this idiots!

 **k-on** : oh yeah that's how this universe works right

 **stabbymcstabberson** : do I need to take care of something?

 **classydancer** : yeah kuzuryuu's love life lmao

 **lactNOse** : shut up??

 **chichiaki** : hinata do I need to come over

 **ahogayest** : probably he's shut himself in the toilet

 

 

 

 

 


	2. in which gundam fucks up massively™

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> gundam, miniature pigs and gourmet treats

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guess who's back  
> back again
> 
> in case you need a reminder!!  
> ahogayest - Hajime Hinata  
> Hope - Nagito Komaeda  
> chichiaki - Chiaki Nanami  
> lactNOse - Fuyuhiko Kuzuryuu  
> stabbymcstabberson - Peko Pekoyama  
> xXcursedhamstermanXx - Gundam Tanaka  
> princessOccult - Sonia Nevermind  
> soudaapop - Souda Kazuichi  
> classydancer - Hiyoko Saionji  
> k-on - Ibuki Mioda  
> bandages - Mikan Tsumiki

**princessOccult has added polaroids to 'let's all BEE friends'**

**princessOccult** : mahiru wanted to join!! I was not aware that she had this platform.

 **classydancer** : yh mahiru literally has everything

 **polaroids** : hey.

 **ahogayest** : oh hey

 **k-on** : has anyone in ibuki's gorgeous harem seen a miniature pig

 **polaroids** : what?

 **Hope** : in what context would you even have a miniature pig?

 **k-on:** questions later, ibuki has a pig to find

 **classydancer:** i like bacon

 **ahogayest:** omg

 **k-on:** hiyoko

 **k-on:** ibuki loves you but

 **k-on:** can you not

 **classydancer:**  ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **polaroids:** I'm starting to regret joining this chat

 **princessOccult:** you can't leave!! this is a bonding exercise!!

 **ahogayest:** literally all we have talked about is sex

 **classydancer:** true

 **stabbymcstabberson:** hey

 **stabbymcstabberson:** wait what

 **lactNOse:** what is it

 **k-on:** has peko peko seen a miniature pig anywhere?

 **k-on:** or kuzukuzu

 **lactNOse:** if i see it i'm going to kill it immediately

 **k-on:** omg

 **k-on:** kuzukuzu!!

 **ahogayest:** that sounds a lot like kazoo

 **ahogayest:** is kuzuryuu the kid from the ad

 **chichiaki:** this is amazing

 **Hope:** oh, hey chiaki

 **Hope:** what were you doing?

 **chichiaki:** literally what else would i be doing

 **Hope:** true

 **ahogayest:** back on the topic

 **lactNOse:** i fucking hate all of you

 **k-on:** you hurt peko peko's feelings :((

 **stabbymcstabberson:** what.

 **stabbymcstabberson:** no he didn't.

 **k-on:** shh ibuki's got this

 **classydancer:** yh but have you got the miniature pig

 **k-on:** shoot

 **ahogayest:** btw i haven't seen it

 **stabbymcstabberson:** neither have i.

 **Hope:** what does it look like?

 **k-on:** like a pig i guess

 **chichiaki:** descriptive

 **k-on:** in ibuki's defense, ibuki hasn't seen the pig

 **ahogayest:** wait so why are you looking for it

 **lactNOse:** is it that stupid pig gundam was lookin for

 **princessOccult:** where is gundam?

 **chichiaki:** i haven't seen him recently

 **classydancer:** you literally never leave your room

 **chichiaki:** fair point

 **k-on:** to kuzukuzu's question, yeah

 **lactNOse** **has left the chat**

 **k-on:** oops

 **ahogayest:** angry kazoo kid

**princessOccult has added lactNOse to 'let's all BEE friends'**

**princessOccult:** i can't contact gundam!!

 **princessOccult:** he always picks up

 **classydancer:** maybe he hates you now

 **polaroids:** don't worry, i'm sure he's just busy

 **polaroids:** and hiyoko, that's mean

**classydancer:**

**classydancer:** soz

 **ahogayest:** so what's the objective

 **Hope:** lame

 **ahogayest:** you wound me

 **chichiaki:** to locate gundam

 **k-on:** and his miniature pig!!

 **ahogayest:** wait nagito don't you have those gourmet animal treats

 **Hope:** what

 **ahogayest:** from that stupid date to that obscure petshop

 **Hope:** oh yeah

 **Hope:** why?

 **k-on:** hold on

 **k-on:** ibuki needs to know if they are vegetarian

 **chichiaki:** oh yeah, isn't gundam vegan

 **classydancer:** what are you gonna do, feed him gourmet pig treats?

 **princessOccult:** he isn't in his dorm

 **Hope:** have you checked the animal shelter?

 **princessOccult:** yes

 **Hope:** obscure petshop?

 **princessOccult:** brb

 **k-on:** okay let's focus on miniature pig

 **classydancer:** what's hajime getting at with the animal treats

 **ahogayest:** can you not tell oh my god

 **ahogayest:** attract the pig with them and baM pig obtained?

 **k-on:** hajime usually has very good suggestions

 **k-on:** but this is a very stupid and not very well thought out plan

 **classydancer:** i second that

 **Hope:** hajime, the pig could be anywhere

 **chichiaki:** yh not your brightest moment lmao

 **princessOccult:** how has no one seen him!!

 **Hope:** not at the obscure petshop either?

 **princessOccult:** nope.

 **k-on:** oh yeah

 **k-on:** has sonia seen gundam's miniature pig?

 **princessOccult:** earlier on today. it was sick apparently, and needed medication

 **Hope:** then have you tried the vet? he could be getting the medication

 **polaroids:** no, he makes his own medicine

 **polaroids:** it's pretty cool; I got some nice pictures

 **chichiaki:** nice

 **princessOccult:** i'll check the medical herbs store!!

 **k-on:** there's a medical herbs store?

 **k-on:** ibuki was not aware

 **chichiaki:** yh mikan works there

 **chichiaki:** i visit her sometimes

 **classydancer:** ew coupley stuff

 **polaroids:** hiyoko, you are dating me

 **classydancer:** everyone else is gross

 **Hope:** I'll go help sonia out

 **chichiaki:** i'll go with you i want to see mikan

 **k-on:** the pig is not on the dorm floor

 **k-on:** i have searched very thoroughly

 **polaroids:** wait what

 **k-on:** ibuki has keys to every room in the school

 **ahogayest:** i feel unsafe

 **classydancer:** oh there you are

 **classydancer:** thought you died or something

 **ahogayest:** i did

 **polaroids:** are we going to ignore

 **polaroids:** that ibuki has keys to every room??

 **k-on:** oh that

 **k-on:** yeah

 **k-on:** ibuki's seen some shit

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> that's it i guess


	3. in which kuzukuzu is sick

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> kuzukuzu is distressed™

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yo  
> sorry for dying lol
> 
> just to clarify, this is a dorm au!!

**polaroids** : does anyone like

 **** **olaroids** : not feel slightly scared for their lives

 **ahogayest:** no not really tbh

 **polaroids** : literally how

 **princessOccult:** I already knew?

 **polaroids** : how

 **princessOccult:** I saw her in my room

 **k-on:** yeah oops

 **k-on:** ibuki made a mistake

 **Hope:** i personally don't mind

 **classydancer:** of course you wouldn't

 **classydancer:** creep

 **xXcursedhamstermanXx:** I do agree, this is quite distressing.

 **princessOccult:** oh, hello Gundam!!

 **xXcursedhamstermanXx:** greetings, dark queen.

 **Hope** : oh yeah, did you end up finding that pig?

 **princessOccult:** I actually found it!!

 **princessOccult:** Teruteru had it.

 **ahogayest:** i'm assuming his intentions weren't innocent

 **classydancer:** you make it sound like he wanted to fuck the pig or something

 **xXcursedhamstermanXx:** do?? not??

 **k-on:** hiyoko broke gundam lol

 **princessOccult:** refrain from punching Gundam please!!

 **ahogayest:** are you guys together rn

 **k-on:** yh

 **k-on:** we're forming a band

 **polaroids:** no we're not

 **polaroids:** we're really not

 **Hope:** is it that project that usami set?

 **polaroids:** yeah, we're doing it about high school musical

 **Hope:**...

 **Hope:** i don't think that's what she meant by 'something that greatly impacted your life'

 **princessOccult:** it was though!! it was my first american movie!!

 **k-on:** ibuki just really loves it

 **stabbymcstabberson:** high school musical?

 **stabbymcstabberson:** I don't. Know what that is.

 **Hope:** peko

 **Hope:** how

 **classydancer:** yh that's pretty weird

 **k-on:** pekopeko doesn't know what hsm is????

 **k-on:** binge session _now_

 **polaroids:** i have the first one

 **k-on:** fuck it that'll do

 **ahogayest:** how has she not even heard of it

 **stabbymcstabberson:** sorry, I can't do anything right now.

 **Hope:** what's up?

 **stabbymcstabberson:** Fuyuhiko is sick.

 **k-on:** and you're taking care of him??

**k-on:** _a d o r a b l e_

**ahogayest:** why didn't you get mikan to do it?

 **stabbymcstabberson:** I was, but he specifically asked me to take care of him?

 **stabbymcstabberson:** I don't really mind though.

 **ahogayest:** oh my god

 **ahogayest:** how can they be _so dense_

 **k-on:** tbh ibuki thinks it's pekopeko

 **classydancer:** it's pretty pathetic

 **stabbymcstabberson:**?

 **ahogayest:** hiyoko, don't say it

 **classydancer:** why not,,, this is stupid

 **k-on:** yeah don't hiyoko

 **k-on:** ibuki wants to bet

 **Hope:** it's pretty obvious?

 **ahogayest:** yeah tbh

 **ahogayest:** at least fuyuhiko is actually aware of what he feels

 **lactNOse:** what the fuck are you guys on about

 **k-on:** kuzukuzu!!

 **k-on:** how are ya

 **ahogayest:** what do you mean??

 **classydancer:** it's worse than i thought

 **classydancer:** they're both dense idiots

 **k-on:** so can we place bets then

 **Hope:** sure

 **Hope:** 10 bucks on Fuyuhiko

 **k-on:** ibuki has faith!! 10 for pekopeko

 **ahogayest:** yeah i'm with nagito on this

 **classydancer:** there's literally no way it's gonna be peko

 **classydancer** : 20 on fuyuhiko

 **k-on:** oooo!! hiyoko pulling out the big bucks

 **princessOccult:** I am on Ibuki's side!!

 **princessOccult:** girl power!!

 **classydancer:** cute but the girl in this situation is denser tha  a brick

 **lactNOse:** could you guys like,,,, not talk about this?

 **Hope:** he's not cursing

 **Hope:** let's stop

 **classydancer:** how to understand fuyuhiko 101

 **classydancer:** if he isn't cursing then he is serious™

 **lactNOse:** fuck off

 **stabbymcstabberson:** I'm not quite sure what you're gambling on?

 **k-on:** omg

 **k-on:** protect her

 **classydancer:** how the fuck have they not gotten a hint

 **Hope:** to be honest

 **Hope:** it has been quite obvious.

 **princessOccult:** how long are we saying?

 **classydancer:** fucking hell

 **classydancer:** probably after we graduate

 **Hope:** not too much faith there

 **ahogayest:** like

 **ahogayest:** 3 months

 **polaroids:** back!

 **polaroids:** oh

 **classydancer:** hey mahiru<33

 **polaroids:** hey hiyoko<3

 **polaroids:** btw, 10 on peko

 **stabbymcstabberson:** what were you doing?

 **polaroids:** with sonia working on the hsm project

 **princessOccult:** it's going to be great!!

 **k-on:** oh yeah

 **k-on:** ibuki's with gundam rn doing it

 **k-on:** we're doing it on kittens

 **ahogayest:** oh yeah

 **ahogayest:** what are we doing, hiyoko?

 **classydancer:** fucking hell, i don't know

****

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoyed lmao  
> i'll hopefully be updating more<3


	4. in which the author??? comes back from the dead

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what do u mean i died for like a year ahahahhahahahahaha
> 
> oops
> 
> ahogayest - Hajime Hinata  
> Hope - Nagito Komaeda  
> chichiaki - Chiaki Nanami  
> lactNOse - Fuyuhiko Kuzuryuu  
> stabbymcstabberson - Peko Pekoyama  
> xXcursedhamstermanXx - Gundam Tanaka  
> princessOccult - Sonia Nevermind  
> soudaapop - Souda Kazuichi  
> classydancer - Hiyoko Saionji  
> k-on - Ibuki Mioda  
> bandages - Mikan Tsumiki

**let's all BEE friends**

 

**ahogayest:** yo hiyoko,,,,,,, we need to do this project thing

**ahogayest** : ...

**ahogayest:** hiyoko pls

**Hope:** hajime, pm her

**ahogayest:** :(( i don't want tooo

**Hope:** the project is in. for tomorrow.

**ahogayest:** lol whoops

**ahogayest:** wait what are you doing it on?

**Hope:**.....

**Hope:** hope

**ahogayest:** why did i ask. 

**Hope:** yeah true do you even know me

**chichiaki:** good morning!

**ahogayest** : good morning chiaki

**Hope:** morning

**soudaapop:** yall i have an Emergency

**chichiaki:** texan souda

**Hope:** cursed. send it back to the shadow realm

**ahogayest:** why would you say something so brave, yet so controversial? 

**Hope:** wrong way round babe

**ahogayest:** fuck

**soudaapop:** but srsly

**soudaapop:** did u guys know abt this

**princessOccult:** know what?

**chichiaki** : morning sonia

**princessOccult:** good morning Chiaki!!!!!!

**soudaapop** : morning princess

**soudaapop:** did u know!!!!!!!!!

**lactNOse:** FUCK SAKES WHAT

**stabbymcstabberson:** what is it. what is so important

**ahogayest:** souda's texan. he's finally telling us

**soudaapop:** NO I AM NOT

**Hope:** he's in denial

**chichiaki: __**souda i just want to let you know i still love you

**chichiaki:** in the gayest way possible

**soudaapop:** :') i appreciate that

**soudaapop:** BUT I'M NOT TEXAN

******princessOccult:** Texan culture is so fascinating!!!!!!!

**soudaapop** : end it all 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for dying lol  
> and for the short chapter lol  
> end me lol

**Author's Note:**

> updating later lmao  
> no one will like this but on the rare one-off you do, let me know!  
> also if you notice any mistakes please let me know haha


End file.
